I have been told countless times how “strong” I am. It’s a wonderful compliment, and I’m glad that’s how so many people see me. I can’t lie to you guys though, I don’t feel “strong” at all. What is “strong” anyway? Is it the way we handle our situations? Is it simply not giving up? I don’t know.
I think about this all the time. I think all of you are strong. I know beautiful souls who have fought and are fighting life threatening diseases. YOU are strong. I know families of some of those beautiful souls who have lost that person. YOU are strong. Single mommas, single dads. Y’all are strong! The wonderfully blessed family, who are happy and together and just welcomed a new addition….you are strong. People are overcoming or have overcame addictions. Somewhere a teenage girl is going through her very first break up. There are men and women fighting overseas and some won’t be coming home alive. Strength is measured a number of ways.
I don’t think you have to be going through a shitty situation like mine to be considered “strong” or “brave”. It takes on many forms. Sometimes it’s simply locking yourself in the bathroom for a good cry because your boss snapped at you, and you came home to a messy house where your kids refused to eat what you just made for dinner. Take five minutes, cry it out, but remember that you are strong. We all have it inside of us. It takes strength to do the right thing even when it’s not what we want to do.
Sometimes when people tell me that I am so strong, I want to laugh because I feel like they are only thinking; “Wow you got divorced after a 6 year relationship, only to find love again, get pregnant and then get dumped again..while pregnant. What a shitty hand you were dealt.” Maybe I have this strength because of all that. Maybe I’m an asshole for assuming you guys think that way when you are only trying to give me a compliment. I guess going through that stuff does make me a stronger person, but damn just because I can handle heartbreak doesn’t mean I deserve it. I like to think this is all just molding me into who I am meant to be.
One thing I will always have though, is a beautiful outlook on life. It does take strength to stay optimistic. So a couple guys walked away. Okay. Big deal. Listen, if we define ourselves or our self worth by other people we will live unhappily for the rest of our days. We get ONE LIFE. ONE. I want to believe my “happily ever after” will happen eventually. Of course I want that, but in the meantime you better believe I am going to love the life I am living. I am hopeful about the future and all it holds, and I am excited about the present too. Find what makes you happy and spend a lot of time there. It sounds so cheesy to say “find your happy place” but do it. Whatever your “happy place” may be, make sure it’s healthy and that it is making you a happier and better person.
Look around, we are all struggling with something. We are also all stronger than we feel. It’s as simple as that. You are strong, even when you don’t feel like it, you are.
“I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me.”