What the f*ck is going on with my belly button?

The inevitable is happening.  Don’t worry guys, I’m handling things rather well.  I mean I’m pregnant right?  My body is changing in ways that only mean I’m creating life so I’m totally embracing it like a badass.  I’m discovering some stretch marks here and there. Big deal. My feet swell after a long day. Who cares? I have to prop up my stomach to sleep at night. Not even mad.  But seriously what the fuck is happening with my belly button? For real. Not cool.  My pre preggo belly button was damn cute. This one looks like a butthole.  Is this one of those times where I’m being unrealistically hard on myself? Probably. Damn it Bailey, stop looking at it. For real though, will this go back to normal? Or should I start saving for belly button reconstructive surgery?  Should I hold a memorial service for my old belly button?  I’m kidding obviously.
 This reminds me of when I was kid.  One of my asshole classmates told me my big toe was shaped like a thumb, and for some reason I NEVER owned a pair of sandals after that. I’m talking all through school. I owned every color of Chuck Taylor’s ever made, but if you thought I would slide my feet into a pair of sandals you got it wrong.  I had an extreme complex.  What the hell did I think people did, just stare at my feet?  Don’t we all have weird things we don’t like about ourselves though?  It’s usually stuff that literally NO ONE else notices too.
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Anyway, I think I bought my first pair of flip flops when I was like 21.  My mom was all, “Hallelujah! Thank you God, my daughter is a normal girl finally!!”  It was seriously like I woke up one day and didn’t give a shit what my toes looked like.  (I actually have really cute feet, I swear!)  We should all carry that mentality with us.  No time for make up today? Who gives a shit.  Decided to eat ice cream instead of hitting the gym? YAS BITCH.  Have a full agenda for the day and binge watch Netflix instead?  You go Glen Coco!
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We have to stop being so hard on ourselves.  We should wake up everyday with a purpose, and if things don’t go perfectly it’s FINE.  It’s okay to cut yourself some slack.  I’m not just talking about appearances here people!  If you have a shitty day, pour yourself a glass of wine.. Or five.  Here’s why I decided to start giving myself a break.  I deserve one.  Pretty mind blowing and scientific right?  Well you deserve a break too.  Chill out, put things on hold without beating yourself up.  If you’re having a tougher time than most, throw yourself a pity party.  Throw that pity party, but leave it early with your head held high.  It’s totally okay to feel a little sorry for yourself or your situation.  Have a breakdown, but make sure you don’t stay in that frame of mind.  Fix your mascara, reapply that lipstick, and realize that you are worth more than whatever you are faced with.
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If I can love my “mom bod” then you can love and embrace your weird traits too.  Remember, I’m not like a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.  Okay, wow enough with the Mean Girls quotes right?  I’m getting on my own nerves now.  Go be happy and love yourself!  Oh, and for goodness sake WEAR SANDALS IF YOU WANT TO WEAR SANDALS.

2 thoughts on “What the f*ck is going on with my belly button?

  1. Kaylan Boyer says:

    I love reading this so much. You always say what you’re thinking, which also tends to be what we’re all thinking. You are beautiful, so you keep doing you!

    Liked by 1 person

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